So I've been thinking about hell a lot, it being finals week and all, and I'm rather curious how it works, exactly. Ignoring the tremendous amount of energy required to generate that much heat for a moment, how does one burn a soul? It's fucking intangible. You can't physically burn a soul any more than you can burn your creativity, or your sense of humor. Do you keep your body when you die and go to hell, then? And if so, it STILL doesn't work because third degree burns sear away the nerve endings on your skin, making it painless. And you don't KEEP burning, obviously, otherwise you'd be a little pile of unholy ashes. And even if they somehow are MAGIC flames that cause pain and all that jazz, human beings are nothing if not adaptable. And time is clearly on your side once you're in hell. How long before humans, who will VASTLY overpopulate Satan and his tiny little legion of demons, learn to grin and bear it, and rise up against God's little fuck up and ram that pitchfork right up his ethereal bunghole? At the rate we're reproducing, I wouldn't be surprised if we already outnumber that little whore of Babylon's troops. And we'll have the baddest and worst humanity has to offer. Josef Mengele. William Sherman. Gengis Khan. Patton. Mao Zedong. Jack the Ripper. Sun Tzu. Joe Stalin. Paris Hilton. All the greatest killers and psychopaths, murderers and dictators, the strongest and baddest. "But Dan," you say. "Surely Satan saw this coming? He's a sneaky one! Remember the garden?" Well, I say to you; what kind of FUCKING RETARD challenges an OMNIPOTENT, OMNIPRESENT being, when he's outnumbered two to one? (And a third of the stars fell from heaven...) Yeah, great move there, O Great and Mighty Deceiver. I'm pissing my pants in fear over a guy who can't deal with the fact that God loves the Hoo-mans more than him. Try being less a dick next time, genius.